i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
