There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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