oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
