you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
