I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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