There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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