Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
