If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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