I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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