I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
