Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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