oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
