I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize