Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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