You can't motorboat a personality
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
