my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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