I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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