worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
