i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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