I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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