spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We just shotgunned beers for America
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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