went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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