Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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