Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
