Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him... http://tfl.nu/q62j
  Replies (15) Good night (875) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened. http://tfl.nu/wacr
  Replies (28) Good night (3000) Bad night (2094)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4894) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god http://tfl.nu/samd
  Replies (26) Good night (791) Bad night (3989)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees http://tfl.nu/gf2k
  Replies (19) Good night (5043) Bad night (2826)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/5883
  Replies (10) Good night (3080) Bad night (1517)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass. http://tfl.nu/wbhi
  Replies (18) Good night (3694) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out. http://tfl.nu/pyc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1384) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p
  Replies (7) Good night (541) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you. http://tfl.nu/oysr
  Replies (1) Good night (1074) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night. http://tfl.nu/rm2n
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Hahahah pickled

  (207): View more from Maine

  I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect. (1-207): Hahahah pickled (207): I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water. http://tfl.nu/9g1y
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends. http://tfl.nu/w6fi
  Replies (4) Good night (617) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard. http://tfl.nu/0wpi
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time. http://tfl.nu/kben
  Replies (1) Good night (147) Bad night (337)

Randomize