Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.