Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton

(1-770): View more from Georgia

i said paris hilton

(770): View more from Georgia

thats even worse

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(770): cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton (1-770): i said paris hilton (770): thats even worse http://tfl.nu/l6ke

Replies (8) Good night (879) Bad night (2215)
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(818): View more from California

She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?

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(818): She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs? http://tfl.nu/4vl4

Replies (74) Good night (932) Bad night (6339)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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(618): Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again http://tfl.nu/9mpp

Replies (34) Good night (6515) Bad night (896)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.

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(203): she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it. http://tfl.nu/xu40

Replies (12) Good night (1871) Bad night (3393)
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(813): View more from Florida

literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source

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(813): literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source http://tfl.nu/0y8j

Replies (14) Good night (1069) Bad night (3618)
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(703): View more from Virginia

the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign

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(703): the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign http://tfl.nu/m52j

Replies (10) Good night (5084) Bad night (1218)
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(513): View more from Ohio

With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap

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(513): With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap http://tfl.nu/39t2

Replies (7) Good night (2560) Bad night (780)
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(970): View more from Colorado

just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?

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(970): just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast? http://tfl.nu/o6g0

Replies (8) Good night (1212) Bad night (3135)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

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(215): We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left. http://tfl.nu/c9gd

Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (2202)
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(614): View more from Ohio

We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg

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(614): We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg http://tfl.nu/vi48

Replies (3) Good night (1729) Bad night (531)
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(503): View more from Oregon

In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?

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(503): In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right? http://tfl.nu/gih8

Replies (4) Good night (1764) Bad night (975)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .

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(304): I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved . http://tfl.nu/02ua

Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (1380)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.

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(256): I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though. http://tfl.nu/tmsk

Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (381)
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(302): View more from Delaware

We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.

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(302): We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark. http://tfl.nu/uofm

Replies (10) Good night (805) Bad night (366)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.

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(203): I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now. http://tfl.nu/z6cp

Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (460)

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