hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.