Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.

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(209): View more from California

and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow

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(856): View more from New Jersey

MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM

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