I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.