I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.