I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
