we made out on top of his cat.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Text me some of your sweat
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
