9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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