Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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