Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
