So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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