you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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