Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
