Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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