Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
