Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
