and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
