You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
