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Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
