How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
