Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
