remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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