I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
