i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
