I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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