I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
