I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
