Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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