Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
