we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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