Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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