I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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