Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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