then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
