It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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