I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Acid is not a monday night drug
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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