Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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