Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
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He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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