brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You left your phone here
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