So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
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Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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