I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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